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| Love of the Loveless or Monsterous Existance? |
| 06.14.04 (1:19 pm) [edit] |
Why are we always searching instead of being satisfied with what we have? I saw the movie "Monster" last night and it really put things in perspective for me. Life can be a really horrible thing and I am so thankful that is not the case for me. Life really stinks for some people. And the worst part is that it always did and always will. There is a song by the Eels called "Love of the Loveless". Its about how when there is no one out there to love you, you have to love yourself. Its a nice thought -- taking care of yourself when no else will. Can this really happen though? Can you love yourself if no else ever has? Sadly, I think the answer is no.
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| Mad Geniuses-Ansari X Prize |
| 06.03.04 (7:51 am) [edit] |
"There is no great genius without some touch of madness"-Seneca
Have you heard about this private venture competition with the space shuttle thing? The people who put together Ansari X Prize are fantisimo! Its modeled after the award to cross the Altantic given to Lindberg. Projects like this make me believe that there is hope for humanity after all.
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| Blogger have hit the big time! |
| 06.02.04 (5:33 am) [edit] |
First it was Rance now its and now its Ito. Maybe I'm next.
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=5 62&e=3&u=/ap/internet_pro file_japan_s_blogger" title="http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=5 62&e=3&u=/ap/internet_pro file_japan_s_blogger" target="_blank"http://story.news.yahoo.com/n...
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| Live to Work |
| 06.01.04 (1:04 pm) [edit] |
They say that whatever you would do without ever getting paid is what you should do with your life. That guy from the movie 'Office Space' says he would do nothing. I like that answer but I havn't found anybody to pay me to do this, yet.
So what would be my top five jobs if they paid well and I was really good at them.
5.) Writer- Novels, Nonfiction, Screenplays
4.) Gardener- beauty though greenery
3.) Entrepenuer- No "right" way to do things
2.) Comedian- if life ain't funny I don't know what is.
1.) Artist- Scultor, Painter, Graghics (of course cutting edge)
Typical jobs on lists like this that I am too cynical to like.
5.) President of USA- humm, It's like being a comedian except people laugh at you.
4.) CEO of Major Corp.-I can't put profit above all
3.) Pro Athlete- an adult playing kids games,yippeee
2.) Moviestar -Just a vector for someone else's creativity
1.) Rockstar -Oh please, can I sing the same 10 songs every night
So should I quit my job as a research technician? The only problem is that I only want to do these thing if I can be successful at them-- and we all know that isn't guaranteed. So I will continue to work to live and not live to work. Oh well, thats what most of us do anyways.
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| Are you who you want to be? |
| 05.28.04 (12:09 pm) [edit] |
Are you the type of person you want to be? What's stopping you? Or should I say what is your excuse? Understand that I did not ask if people perceive you the way you want them to -- you have no control over that. I'm idealist and I'd like to think that you can be whoever you want to be. Is that really true? Does your personality or situation prevent it? I think it must have some effect after all there is such a thing as brain chemistry. I guess the import thing is to know who we want to be and always strive toward this goal.
Who I want to be:
-Fair
-Informed
-Humble
-Balanced
-Honorable
-Unorthodoxed
-Idealistic
-Thrifty
-Caring
-Genuine
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| What is highest virtue? How about selfishness. |
| 05.27.04 (11:38 am) [edit] |
Ayn Rand says that it is simply not enough to just want something and then go about getting it (like the materialist say). She says that it must be the desire of something coupled with it being good for you. When she says this she means really good for you in the long term and will ultimately make you a better person. So for her she feels that when taking care of the world you should start at home. How much closer to home can you be than your own person and mind. If everyone was disaplined and held themselves accountable for their own lives the world might be a better place. Things in this world are important because they are important to you. You love your family because you love yourself. This hierarchy starts with self and graduates down through relation to ones self. I think the true challenge is to get the whole hierarchy thing figured out.
A senario:
You are a parent of a child who has killed someone. Do you turn them in?
Well, a child is pretty close to you and therefore must rank pretty high in the scheme. The victims family and society rank somewhat high because they are part of the same cummunity and species, but they rank lower than your child.
Under this system should you protect your child? In my mind you should turn your kid in and it has nothing to do with rank. You have to do the best thing yourself and the people you care about. This means doing the best thing to make you a better person in the long term (not satify your immediate wants) --which would be to turn you kin in.
I really have not applied this system in my life as strongly as I want to. Its seems like things are so complicated and not so easily classified (or maybe thats just an excuse to not do what I should do).
Maybe I've stated the obvious, but the point I'm trying to say is that in a society that demeans self and glorifies blind altruism, maybe the ultimate good is being good to yourself.
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| I'm insignificant, but I'm OK with that |
| 05.24.04 (7:06 am) [edit] |
I read the other day that 500,000 have died under Sadam while he ruled. This number got me thinking. I don't know if I have even met that many people. Such large number and it took all of them to make a small dimple on the mind of humanity. So, alot of us think that we are going to change the world. Its a nice thought, but its not going to happen. So the important thing is the people around you. There is a chance you can change their world. Sometimes I think people go looking for trouble instead of worrying about thing in their own backyard. Picasso was an amazing artist but he was a jerk to his family. How upside down is it that he impacted the world so strongly and then shit on the people around him. People want a better world and if every person took care of (I mean really took care of) the people around them -- it would be. Every villain/victim is someone's child or neighbor. Start at home, if you get done there -- then start on the "world".
Whoah, I got to preaching there. I'm suppose to be telling you why its great to be insignificant. I guess the answer is that I am only meaningless when you look at the world. I mean the world to my people -- and thats all that matters
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| I use to love music. |
| 05.22.04 (12:31 pm) [edit] |
I use to be one of those people that knew all about alternative music (I hate that label). I was the ultimate appreciator. I even thought about starting up a database & fanzine at one point. Unfortunately I've grown cinical (sp?). Seeing Blink-182 on Cribs with their BMWs kind of sent me over the edge. All the good artist are supposed to struggling for their art. I find these feelings a little silly. I should be happy for them. I try to tell myself that artist like REM would be, and have in the past, been doing it without 50 mil $ record deals.
Did I decide for myself that I like these artist or was it just really good marketing? Like E from the Eels says "How do I know were I end and what they're making me begins".
I should just decide if I like music just based on the music and not all the other things (popularity, genre, political veiws, personalities, etc.)
At one point I thought I would be that 50 yr old guy rocking out at the concert with all the young people. Now I'm thinking I'll stick to 90's music and all the memories that go along with it. So I guess I'll see you at the Pixies reunion tour.
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| blogging @ first glance |
| 05.21.04 (9:06 pm) [edit] |
My impression of this whole blog thing so far is that:
a) the only people that have enough time to blog are in high school
b) I am one of thousands upon thousands of bloggers
c) Everyone is much more interesting than myself and yet I can't bring myself to read a blog from start to finish.
I guess this beats writing in my nonpublic web journal.
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| Talking, but is anyone listening |
| 05.21.04 (1:50 pm) [edit] |
This is my attempt at expressing myself. I want to get my thougts out there and see what happens. I don't credit myself with ever having an orginal thought in my life, but I like to think that my veiws are somewhat unorthodox. I want to do it just to satisfy my own need, regardless of wether or not I am good at it (like Ed Wood, Velvet Underground, or the Ramones). I am curious how people will come to see this and wether or not it will hold there interest. It will suprise me if it does, since I havn't talked of anything important yet and I don't know if I ever will.
I like lists
[u]Single words that discribe me:[/u]
agnostic
dabbler
appreciator
curious
ponderous
(its hard to use just one word at a time)
unfulfilled
searcher
balanceseeker
skeptic
pessimist
dreamer
confused
If anyone is out there, I look forwad to feed back.
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